Results from my Misterpoll account

[sleepinbin]

More nice stories as ever!

Also, check out part 9 here, after this gets rolling a bit I'll have a new set of CSVs up. But anyway, here it is, looking forward to you guys giving great answers as ever! http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/591388

Thanks


P.S. Photos of the girls in question can be seen here! http://www.squeezequeens.com/index.php?topic=235.msg22851#msg22851

[gh122]

Couple more great answers from last week:

Vs Jaimie Alexander

Jaimie hears that the guy has been mocking other female fighters In the gym. Wearing an athletic top and athletic shorts she confronts the guy. Jamie says " so you think you're so tough eh?" How about stepping in the ring with me full muay Thai rules and see if I don't knock your fucking head off" "or are u to chicken shit"

With a crowd of over thirty watching Jaime dominates. She lands a variety of punches, elbows low and high kicks and some brutal knees. She lands a right knee left hook and high kick combo. She spits on the guy as he lays in defeat and makes him clean the blood off her feet and shins by licking them all the while sobbing heavily. She laughs and mocks his crying and tells him " I bet all the girls who workout here could kick your ass just as easy as I did, even the young high school girls " "I bet Ellen (Page) would love to have her turn with you and stomp you into the ground and she's like what sixty pounds smaller than you " (she says while laughing) "Ellen wouldn't even bother with gloves and a ring, she would just beat your ass out in the alley" "now get up and get out of here while I'm still in a friendly mood but if I see you in here again your gonna get your ass beat twice as bad!"

The guy is left a crying mess, with broken and bruised bones in need of medical attention.

Gh side note: Would live to see the sequel to this with Jaimie and or Ellen!

Vs Maria Sharapova (Must read)

Maria is playing an exhibition match and losing badly.  Throughout her performance she hears abuse from Guy, who is sitting in a front row seat.  After her defeat, and before walking off court, she goes over to confront him.

"What the hell was that all about?  I don't have to take that shit from the likes of you."

"Well, perhaps if you'd actually been trying I might have given you some credit.  Looks to me like you just turned up to pick up the cheque."

"Yeah, like I need the money," snaps Maria.  She fishes in her kit bag for a moment, before taking out a card.  "Tell you what fat boy, if you want an exhibition I'll give you one.  Come along to this place in two hours and I'll give you the chance to win back way more than you paid for your ticket."  She thrusts the card at him, turns around and strides off the court.

A couple of hours later, wearing shorts and a T-shirt, Guy arrives outside the address marked on the card which turns out to be an exclusive sports club.  Maria is waiting by a side entrance dressed in a black tracksuit.  "So you decided to turn up," she sneers.  "Good.  You won't need that though."  She nods at the tennis racket handle sticking out of his kit bag.

"What do you mean?  I thought we were playing a match."

"No way, asshole...I've got something much more suitable in mind.  Come on inside."

After leading him through various corridors, Maria stops outside what is clearly their destination.  "Here, you'll be needing these."  She pulls a pair of red boxing gloves out of her bag, grinning at the look on Guy's face.

"Are you serious?  You want me to box you?"

"Too fucking right.  No one bad mouths me like you did and gets away with it.  We'll see who the real loser is now."

"You must be nuts.  What the hell makes you think I'd fight a girl."

"Well, I said I'd make it worth your while.  If you win, I'll give you half my appearance fee - five grand."

Guy's mouth falls open.  Maria knows she's got him, so pushes through the door into a small gym which is dominated by a boxing ring.  A few women, obviously friends of Maria's, are working out on the other equipment.  "OK ladies," she calls out.  "The idiot's arrived.  Time for the big match."  She strides over to the ring and strips off her tracksuit layer to reveal a red sports bra and black gym shorts.  She puts on a pink pair of gloves she has taken from her bag before climbing into the ring.  She glares over at Guy.  "Well, are we going to do this or what?"

Guy is pretty scared by this point, but the thought of the five grand is shouting loud in his ear.  He's also pretty turned on at the sight of Maria in the ring.  Trying to hide his nerves, he gloves up and climbs through the ropes.  One of the women has also entered, and checks his and Maria's gloves.  "OK, keep this clean.  Two minute rounds.  Nothing below the belt," she looks pointedly at Maria at this point.

Maria smirks, and struts back to her corner, flexing and posing to the rest of the women, who are now lined around the ring calling encouragement to her.  She points over at Guy.  "Hey loser, show us what you've got."  The women laugh as Guy flexes his skinny arms.  Maria strikes a double bicep pose, showing off her toned and powerful body.  "Now this is what muscles look like, wimp.  And this is what a winner looks like."

She laughs at his lack of muscle, telling him he's got no chance.

The bell rings, and Maria strides into the centre of the ring. Guy hesitates, but realizing his best bet is to catch his opponent by surprise he darts forward and launches a haymaker left.  Unfortunately, his punching technique is hopeless, and Maria can just lean back out of range.  While he is off balance, she fires three sharp jabs into his face followed by a right cross that puts Guy on the canvas.  The referee waves Maria back with a grin and starts to count.

Guy gets to his feet at 6, unhurt but embarrassed and disorientated.  When the ref says box, he reverses his strategy and retreats to the ropes.  Maria stalks him from the centre of the ring, making use of her huge reach to send quick jabs into Guy's face.  His defense is poor, and she is easily able to pick her targets.  Within 30 seconds his nose is bleeding and his right eye is starting to puff up.  Knowing Guy has nothing to hurt her, Maria moves in and thumps a right hook into his unprotected ribs.  His fists drop and his knees wobble, but Maria holds him up and pushes him back into the ropes.  Two straight rights  redouble the blood flow from Guy's nose before Maria's left hook hammers into his jaw, dropping him like a stone.  The ref doesn't even bother to count, as it's clear Guy won't be moving for a while.

Maria milks her victory like a pro, standing astride his prone body while posing for her applauding audience.   A few of the women have been filming the fight, and she blows kisses to the cameras.  One passes her a lipstick which she uses to write "loser" across Guy's forehead.

When Guy finally comes to, the women are all gone and the gym is in darkness.  Left in the centre of the ring is a short note from Maria, telling him what will happen to him if she ever hears from him again.  The postscript is a Youtube link.  When he gets home and logs on, he finds a video of the fight and its aftermath.  The clip has already gone viral and Guy realizes his life has just changed forever.

[RhodryM]

Nice--liked the Maria Sharapova story.

[gh122]

Yeah the Sharapova story is brilliant! based on a suggestion (along with a planned but un launched poll) I created a handicap wrestling poll where two celebrities take on the guy; most of the celebs are the ones who have lost badly in earlier polls, now with a chance for revenge. Probably do a part two after the era series concludes.

The teams include Natalie Portman w Mila Kunis, Alison Brie w Gillian Jacobs, Blake Lively w Amber Heard, Kim Kardashian w Paris Hilton, Minka Kelly w Mandy Moore, Jordana Brewster w Alessandra Ambrosio,  Gabrielle Christian w Mandy Musgrave, and finally a 3 v 1 match featuring Alexis Bledel, Jessica Alba and Nina Debrov

Just take whichever ones interest you (please let Alison & Gillian interest you:) and let me know if / who you'd like as a team in a future edition. 

http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/591709

[ass kicked by girls]

Ha ha talk about a nightmare/dream come true! No telling how much damage 2 girls could do! There might not be anything left of you!

[gh122]

Ha ha talk about a nightmare/dream come true! No telling how much damage 2 girls could do! There might not be anything left of you!

If it was Allison/ Gillian I might not even mind! I'm sure you must have some good ideas for this one... as always I'll share the results as they come!

I tried to keep the teams themed, ie co stars, real life friends while also skewing toward tiny celebs. The issue right now is the poll's gargantuan length, which I actually had to shorten as there were options for moves used by each individual. At one point there were nearly twice as many questions are there are now!

[ass kicked by girls]

Sounds good! Honesty some of those girls like Mandy moore and Elba I would be afraid of on their own in a fight, let alone having to deal with their friends!  100% dead meat for sure!

[gh122]

That was quick, misterpoll already approved it! ... And I already caught a absurd error in the description. "If two female celebrities celebrities" argh...

http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/591709

[sleepinbin]

I'll try to fire something good in

[gh122]

I'll try to fire something good in

I'd appreciate it! I think I also had an idea for a Kat Dennings post I'll try to write for part 9

[RhodryM]

Love the two-on-one poll.  Some pretty awesome teams there.  I'm sure there will be some good accounts of Mandy Moore & Minka Kelly kicking ass, not to mention the three-on-one matchup.  Just being in close proximity to Jess, Alexis and Nina all at once could give many men a heart attack, not to mention trying to wrestle/fight with them.

Itsy bitsy P.S.--Nina's last name is Dobrev, not Debrov.

[gh122]

Itsy bitsy P.S.--Nina's last name is Dobrev, not Debrov.

Man, her name always trips me up, thought I spell checked it but apparently glossed over it. The longer these polls get the more likely errors like that occur, too bad misterpoll now charges if you want to make changes, even minor spelling fixes. As always I'll make sure to post the essays!

[sleepinbin]

I'd appreciate it! I think I also had an idea for a Kat Dennings post I'll try to write for part 9

Oh, amazing, she's a real fave of mine at the moment Can't wait to see!

[wap]

Thanks for the positive comments on my Sharapova story.  I plan to do a couple more for that poll over the next few days.

Love the idea of the 2v1 poll, though I must confess to never having heard of several of the celebs in it.  I clearly need to watch more TV...

wap

[gh122]

Thanks for the positive comments on my Sharapova story.  I plan to do a couple more for that poll over the next few days.

Love the idea of the 2v1 poll, though I must confess to never having heard of several of the celebs in it.  I clearly need to watch more TV...

wap

Wow, really was an amazing story, just Sharapova's and Guy's characterization alone is extremely well done. Thanks for contributing to the poll, the 85-89 is my favorite era/poll, hoping to see it get a bit more activity. Look forward to anything else you come up with, I'll make sure to post them unless you'd be more comfortable posting them yourself, let me know either way!

I'm actually not familiar with the final pair in the 2v1 poll but the rest tend to be pretty popular. If you haven't discovered Allison Brie or Gillian Jacobs I'd suggest checking out Community, one of the best comedies on TV.